i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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