i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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