In the future we'll all be gay
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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