My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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