honey bunches of taint.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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