then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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