The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize