Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize