And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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