How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize