The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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