Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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