just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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