I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just pee around me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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