his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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