he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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