Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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