It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize