my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
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Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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