you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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