i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
God, I missed his penis.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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