I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
COCAINE IS GR8
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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