He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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