so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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