Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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