Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
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We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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