Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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