I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize