The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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