im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize