Michael Bay diarrhea
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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