SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
this hospital has no fireball
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize