On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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