So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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