So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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