If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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