You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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