Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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