just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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