I'm drive I can fine osifer
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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