Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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