I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize