he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
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A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
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Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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