I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
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Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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