Please, let me fuck your mom
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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