How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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