I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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