please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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