If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize