She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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