Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize